I Will Be
by FieryBrunette
Summary: A one-shot about Lily's feelings that were hidden her entire life....that is, until she met one James Potter.


**Author's Note: This James and Lily one-shot is inspired by the most beautiful song I've heard in a long time, I Will Be by Avril Lavigne. Though this song is not on her main albums (it's a B-side track) you can find it on You Tube. I really suggest you go listen to it. Warning: this might contain some excessive fluff.**

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_There's nothing I could say to you_

_Nothing I could ever do to make you see_

_What you mean to me_

He meant a lot. Hell, he meant the world to her. She always took care to hide her feelings, but when she looked into those hazel eyes, she nearly lost all dignity and begged him to kiss her.

Lily Evans was in love with James Potter.

IN LOVE.

When she was little she had promised herself to never fall in love, once she had seen the pain in her father's eyes when her mum left. Love wasn't worth the pain, because if you became too attached, you'll never get over losing it.

For six years she kept that promise, hiding her heart from practically the entire world minus her best friends and family. She was always cold, aloof, and pretending not to care. She was often the biggest bitch to most everyone, and no one ever referred to her as any name but 'ice queen'. Lily didn't like opening up to many people, and she had some problems with actually relating to people. No one knew her as the girl who liked to go running around and splashing in puddles on rainy days. No one knew that she often was terrified of small insect. No one knew that Lily Evans gave a damn about anyone or anything. Everyone thought that she didn't care.

But she did care. She cared so much for everyone and everything that it sometimes hurt to get up every morning and go to class. She was the person who cared way too much. For every single being on the planet. She was a bloody liar and she knew it, but it was all she could to to keep away the aching emotions that came with everything she lived with.

In her fifth year at Hogwarts, when James Potter started asking her out almost every minute of every hour, the caring got worse and the problem was, she began to care about one thing and one thing only.

James Potter.

The day at the lake when Potter had embarrassed Severus to get her attention and a chance to ask her out, it took every ounce of power to keep from saying yes.

It didn't stop, his advances.

He claimed to love her, but she knew he didn't really. He barely knew her. He only knew that she was an obsessive teacher's pet.

After yelling at Potter and going practically hoarse, she had stormed to the dorm. Tears of love and anguish poured down her cheeks. How was it possible to care for someone so much? She think she loved James even more than her father or mother. Of course, it was probably a stupid crush and would go away soon. But as she lay there crying softly into her pillow, she realized that no matter what she said, James would not stop asking her out and confessing undying love for her.

_All the pain, the tears I cried_

_Still you never said goodbye and now I know_

_How far you'd go_

The summer before sixth year was strenuous. James owled her every single, bloody day. He even sent her a diamond necklace crafted by goblins for summer solstice. Who sends a present for summer solstice?

She only replied twice and each time she included foul insults and jibes yet he still signed every letter, _Love, James._

Come around sixth year, Lily practically was pulling her hair out because James was ten times worse than he was in fifth year. He actually refused to date another girl until Lily gave him a chance. For that, she hexed him and called him a egotistical prat.

On her sixteenth birthday, James got the entire school (teachers included) to throw a party in the Great Hall after dinner. Lily was so shocked she almost fainted. There was dancing, cream puffs, and (according to Sirius) an anonymous bottle of Firewhiskey being secretly passed around, though she never actually saw it.

At eleven thirty, James asked her to dance. She reluctantly agreed, trying to ignore the great spasms her stomach was giving her. He lead her to the dance floor and despite his big feet and tall stature, he twirled, spun and dipped her rather gracefully. Lily could actually start to enjoy herself, but then the entire school started shouting "KISS! KISS! KISS!" at the top of their lungs. James leaned in without consent and without thinking, Lily slapped him, HARD.

The look on his and everyone else's face's nearly ripped her heart in to pieces. Lily did the only thing she could do, run.

Not even trying to make it to the dorm, she hid in a broom closet on the seventh floor by the statue of Barnabas the Barmy. Strange enough, the broom closet had all needs. A tissue box, a wash cloth and a basin and a big carton of peppermint ice cream.

She stayed in their the entire night.

The next day, James wouldn't even look at her.

_I know I let you down_

_But it's not like that now_

_This time I'll never let you go_

Two months later, James was still silent. He always looked down and even angry at himself. Lily tried her best to ignore it, but inside, her heart was breaking. She wanted to tell him she loved him so bad. It was overpowering, the amount she loved him. It was so hard to convince herself that her affections were otherwise.

But she couldn't. She was not for James. Too flawed and imperfect, not at all what he claimed her to be. She would let him down. But, how long could she live like this? Watching her love, hem hem, crush slowly fade into an empty shell.

Half the time she wondered if she was sane at all. Potter would walk in the room and her heart would beat so fast she expected to have a heart attack. He would smile and she would have to look down so the giant grin on her face would not be seen. When he laughed or spoke to her, she had to run over transfiguration notes in her head so she would not start drooling at the sound of his voice. And when he looked at her, oh she just wanted to melt into a puddle onto the floor. People said that eyes were the window to your soul. Well with James, it seemed that eyes were probes into your soul and no secrets could be hidden from them. She couldn't escape.

He was perfect and she was... Lily. Short, stocky, frizzy haired and definitely not pretty. Who cared if she was the most popular girl in school? She wasn't for James and that was for sure.

She could apologize. She'd love to apologize, just so he could smile and talk to her again, even though she would shoot lots of insults at him in return. She even considered telling him her feelings but she never got the courage to. Besides, he's probably just ignore her anyway.

Two weeks before school ended, her dad and mom were murdered. Separately, cause they were divorced but at the same time. It was a Monday morning and the letter for Lily arrived, not only informing her of her parents death but the fact that her own sister disinherited her.

She wasn't even invited to the funeral.

At first came shock, bitter, quick and utterly numbing. Lily often recalled sitting on that bathroom floor of her dormitory where she read the same letter over and over. It took all of her friends' coaxing to get her out to go and eat some food. There was nothing she could do, because there was nothing to do. The funeral passed and she did not attend, classmates gave their sympathy in small glances that she pretended to ignore. Life went on, but Lily seemed to exist onward in a reverse cycle. Time passed in incredibly fast intervals, and she had no idea where it could possibly be going.

Lily wanted to die. She wanted to lie in the ground with her parents and be absorbed into nothingness. This pain wasn't worth staying alive for.

She refused to cry. Not one tear had left her eyes. Some days after she got the letter, James started looking at her again and (she thought she was dreaming) smiled slightly. He knew, she realized with sinking horror. Of course he knew. Gossip traveled through the school faster than the new Cleansweep model.

Despite the fact that her teachers told her it was okay to miss some homework and mourn, Lily kept her grades up, and never missed one class. People who barely knew her said she was fine. Her friends however, began to worry. Alice Prewitt often made sure she knew where Lily was and what she was doing, and even accompanied her just to keep an eye on her friend. Lily didn't sleep anymore and when she did, it was a fitful sleep. It was as if resting would break her down and open her up, and she did not want that at all. Countless nights she stared up at the top of her four-poster, blinking widely at the bank ceiling and fighting the urge to scream.

Bags began to appear under Lily's eyes, which had lost some of their sparkling emerald brilliance. They were more of a dull olive green now. She started thinning out a great deal form lack of food. Her mind was in a state of panic underneath her passively calm facial expression. She couldn't live at her old house anymore. Petunia had said she could pick up her belongings and get out. She had no home, no where to stay. Where could she possibly go?

The last day of school, Lily was sitting by the beech tree, staring into the lake, wondering what it would be like to have no home. The lightest of breezes brushed her already cold cheeks. Even Dumbledore had told her that she could not stay at Hogwarts. Lily was about to actually considering jumping into that lake to drown herself when she felt a firm hand on her shoulder.

James.

The hand, so gentle and tentative, was such an innocent and sweet gesture that she hadn't felt in two weeks that Lily only just realized how it felt to be cared for. She locked eyes with him before bursting into tears. She had no clue where the sobs came from, the tears bubbling over the surface like boiling water that finally simmered over the edge of a pit. She felt like a stupid blubbering idiot in front of him and prepared herself for ridiculing.

But he didn't make fun of her or even say so much as a word. He just held her there in his arms as she cried into his shirt. It was nice, though she felt rather sorry for keeping him outside for so long just for the sake of her hysterical tears.

She finally gained enough control to tell him what had been going on and why she was in this state. How she felt about her parent's death, how she hadn't cried until that evening. It felt so good to talk, to use words to explain how she was feeling. Lily probably would have gone on for hours and hours, but forced herself to conclude her story.

"And now," She ended, "I have no home to live in. And I have hardly any money to rent a place." She sighed, leaning her head on James' shoulder. She was hardly able to believe how she could be so close to him all of the sudden without feeling defensive. "I have no where to stay."

Upon this statement, James immediately looked at her like she was crazy. "You'll stay with me Evans. My parents could use a female, rational mind in the house besides my mum."

He said it so as-a-matter-of-factly, that there was no mistaking the sincerity in his tone.

Lily laughed. A full on, loud laugh. And for the first time in a long time, she smiled at James just so he could see it.

_I will be, all that you want_

_And get myself together_

_Cause you keep me from falling apart_

_All my life, I'll be with you forever_

_To get you through the day_

_And make everything okay_

That summer was one of the best in her entire life. Not the easiest, but definitely the best. The summer of friendships and new beginnings. She began to live at the Potter's Mansion the first day after term, all of whom treated her as if she had lived there her entire life.

Mrs. Potter was like the mum Lily used to have, sweet and funny, and spent many hours with her talking and shopping and cooking meals. Mr. Potter was a gruff but humorous man who had the same twinkle in his eyes as his son, as well as the same round glasses.

Sirius (who was living with the Potter's on the account that he too, was disinherited) was nice to Lily, surprisingly. Not calling her a single name and even offering to help her make breakfast. Lily often suspected James put him up to it with a few galleons, but she could never be sure. Without the saucy comments, they could be friends.

And James was.....James. Still childish and bright-eyed, yet in a whole new and satisfying way. After the crying incident at the end of sixth year he had practically named himself Lily's nanny. Funnily enough, she was fine with that. They became the closest of friends and (much to Lily's delight) hugged each other every evening before going to bed. He taught her how to play quidditch and she taught him how to use a telephone. It was a win-win friendship.

James was mature then. There really was no other way to describe it. Not once had he asked her out, tried to kiss her or made a perverted comment to her all summer. She liked that. She wasn't as stressed and she didn't have to hide her grin when he walked into the room. It was nice being best friends with your crush. Just a crush.

Yes, it was killing her inside, being this close to James but not being able to hold his hand and stare forever in to his gorgeous eyes. She had figured that he had moved on from her and now she deeply regretted ever saying no to him. But it was better than nothing, she told herself.

Lily, James and Sirius went back to school as 7th years. Both Lily and James were made head boy and girl.

As happy as she was, she hated having to spend even more time with him without having him the way she wanted him. Now that they were friends, Lily wondered how she could have ever pretended to loathe that boy. Happiness wasn't a common thing in her life until she started to get to know James really well. Now, she couldn't imagine her life without him in it.

_I thought that I had everything_

_I didn't know what life could bring_

_But know I see, honestly_

The first couple months of school were smooth an practically painless. James began dating a girl name Katrina and despite Lily's expert self control of her own jealousy, she could not help but silently rejoice at the rumors that were spreading about her and James dating behind his girlfriend's back.

James was there for her. When she needed a study buddy, he was there. When she needed pads or tampons from Hogsmeade, he got them for her and when she needed to talk about her parents, he was there with a hankie and a shoulder to cry on. He followed her in her thoughts, her dreams and her mind. His smile was the thing she pictured to stop being sad. His laugh was the thing she cherished on a rainy day. He was her medication and without him, she would lose it completely.

Yes, she was able to admit it on Halloween of seventh year. She was in love with her best friend, James Potter.

Why him? She would run over the pros and cons of her feelings over and over every day. But she couldn't come up with anything bad about it, except for the fact that they were just friends and he was over her. He wouldn't have been dating otter girls if he still liked her. He wouldn't have stopped asking her out and using pick up lines on her if he still liked her. It made perfect sense.

_You're the one thing I got right_

_The only one I'd let inside_

_Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me_

In a way she liked being friends with James because she was always able to talk with him and joke around. She was able to encourage him without insult and though at sometimes it was tempting, she never yelled at him again unless he was trying to get her to participate in a prank or something.

There were days when she felt all she needed to live was James. Just to see him and talk to him could keep a beaming smile plastered on her face all day. Her friends Alice and Emmaline would often point it out but she would just ignore them and continue humming.

In November, Quidditch started and Lily was on the team playing chaser. She had tried out and James (despite many grumbles bout favoritism) recruited her, saying she had an uncanny talent. And that she did. Most of the points scored in the first match were from her goals. James was seeker of course, the star of the show, but Lily certainly did attract a lot of attention from people, especially the male population of Hogwarts.

After the first match, five boys asked her out. Lily noticed before she declined that James (who was sitting across the common room at the time) tensed up, like a wolf baring down on it's prey. She also noticed that his face lit up when she announced to the entire common room that she was not interested in dating any boys that she did not know well.

How... odd.

But the strange thought vanished from her mind as James began snogging his new girlfriend Holly again. Jealousy welled up inside her and she silently cast a shield charm between them, throwing Holly into the lap of Sirius Black, who the girl began kissing immediately.

James looked at her and mouthed _thank you_ before walking upstairs to the heads dorm. She followed, smiling to herself with satisfaction.

_And if I let you down_

_I'll turn it all around_

_Cause I would never let you go_

Lily went to the Potter's for Christmas. She was sharing a room with Sirius and James because of the dozens of relatives that were staying in the Potter mansion. Despite her distaste of the messy room and having to get dressed in the bathroom, she liked sharing a room with such fun people, and sexy people at that.

The entire week before Christmas she helped Mrs. Potter cook mounds and mounds of mashed potatoes, mince meat pie, roast beef and other holiday favorites. She must've met at least 20 other Potters, all possessing the lopsided trade mark grin that she craved on James' face. It was like having a family again, except the fact that she was in love with one of the family members.

On Christmas day, Sirius and James woke her up at four in the morning, jumping and shouting like two year olds. She walked groggily down stairs to find the entire household awake, sitting under the gigantic tree opening loads of presents. She sat and watched, not really expecting to get much from her sister and her fiancée', but after sitting still for an hour, Mrs. Potter shouted over the noise "Oh dear, we've forgotten to give Lily her presents!"

Faster than lightening, Lily was showered and drowning in boxes and bags of gifts. Everyone got her something. Mrs. Potter made her a sweater and skirt with Gryffindor colors, Mr. Potter gave her a book of sarcastic don't-mess-with-me remarks, Grandma Potter got her golden earrings with emeralds in them, Great Grandma Potter got her a book on how to properly study for N.E.W.T.S. and even Sirius bought her a ten galleon gift certificate to Florean Flortescue's ice cream parlor. She got clothes, soap, lotions with magical abilities (including one that temporarily dyed your skin purple), jewelry and socks that changed color depending on how stinky your feet were.

Lily was overwhelmed. She barely new half these people, and yet they got her things that she couldn't even hope to own, let alone afford. Words couldn't express her gratitude, but as she rasped out a thank you, Sirius blurted " Well it was all James' idea. Don't thank us."

She couldn't look at him. He was blushing deeply and muttering something about needing a walk, before running out of the room. She followed him, thanking every single gift giver on her way.

When she caught up with him, they were both breathing hard. She managed to thank him and make eye contact without turning crimson from embarrassment.

"Lily you don't have to thank me, it was nothing."

"But it was," she countered, "You got your entire family to buy a present. James, I ... I've never felt more content with where I am than now."

He looked at her, eyes shining brightly. He leaned forward and in the back of her mind she prayed for him to kiss her. He embraced her in a bear hug and though she hugged him back, but she couldn't stop the tears of disappointment from springing to her eyes.

James noticed as soon as she sniffed.

"Lily what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked frantically, looking her over for injury.

"No, it's just, no one has ever done this much for me before." She half lied. While what she said was true, that wasn't why she was crying.

"Forget it." He shrugged, looking down at his feet. "C'mon, I want to grab some mince meat before Sirius and Uncle Harry down it all in a pie eating contest. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course."

He hugged her again and she was in heaven for a few seconds, clinging to him and breathing in his scent of laundry detergent, peppermint and eggnog. Unlike any guy she had ever met, James didn't reek of cologne. He wore it, she was sure. But she could never detect it on him. There was too many other scents around him to focus on.

_I will be, all that you want_

_And get myself together,_

_Cause you keep me from falling apart_

_All my life, I'll be with you forever_

_To get you through the day_

_And make everything okay_

On New Year's Eve Day, the Potter Mansion was in a frenzy. In exactly four hours, most of the high society wizarding world would be in the house, in honor of the New Year. Mrs. Potter had decided a week before that she wanted to throw a ball and much to her husband's displeasure, a _formal_ ball. Of course no one living in the Potter mansion was told of this until the day it happened. So naturally the entire house was in an uproar when she broke the news at breakfast.

Sirius complained of needing a haircut, James couldn't get his hair to lie still, Grandpa Potter couldn't find his dentures and the water system was freezing. Most panicked of all was Lily, who had never been to a ball before, couldn't dance, and didn't have a dress for the occasion. She ran frantically around the house, twisting her hands in anguish and worrying over the silliest things. Finally, Mrs. Potter came up and asked her what was wrong. The pressure from a year of silence was building up and Lily spilled.

"What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong Mrs. Potter. I don't have a dress! And I can't dance! So how the bloody hell am I supposed to show up to a bloody formal ball and impress the love of my life, your son, and pull the entire stunt off without tripping over my own feet!"

Instead of getting kicked out of the house for swearing, Lily was hugged fiercely by Mrs. Potter who was crying full frontal now, saying "I knew it!" over and over.

Despite Lily's worries and complaints, she was ushered into a room and forced to try on a pine green dress with white gloves that reached her elbows. Mrs. Potter did her hair, makeup, and even added a few sequins to the edges of the dress that trailed to the floor.

By the time this was finished, the party was about to start. Lily was pushed out of the room and into the hallway. She walked down it to the stairs and down into the main hall. As she passed a mirror, she couldn't help but notice that she did look okay. But all confidence was whooshed away as she saw the hundreds of people that filled the ballroom and dining hall.

She gulped and walked forward to a man who asked "Name please?"

"Lily Evans." She said, not bothering to wonder why this man was asking her name. Suddenly the same man's voice boomed over the entire house, "Presenting Miss Lily Evans."

Lily gulped, and her legs turned to jello. One foot. Another. She waked down the final fleet of stairs into the throng of witches and wizards that were watching her. She tried not to best not to notice the Minister of Magic as well as all of her professors from school. She was about to turn and run back up to her room when she caught a sparkling pair of hazel eyes.

_James._

A grin spread across her face and she suddenly found that she could walk like a princess. He was there, waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs and when she got there, she didn't say anything. She just smiled. If he hadn't been there, neither would she. Lily linked her arm through his and together they walked through the crowd, both trying to ignore the whispers that followed them.

"Scared?" He asked quietly.

"Scared doesn't even describe it." She replied, failing to add that one of the reasons of her fear was her worries of what he thought of her.

They sat for a while, talking amiably and laughing when they found Sirius was already drunk by nine o'clock.

"Do you want to dance?" He asked shyly.

"Yeah, I'd love to." She replied against her own will.

So they danced. And danced. They were the talk of the ball. People pointing and saying "oh, young love... so pure." Lily actually was enjoying herself very much. Not only was she with James, the love of her life, but she was also not making a complete fool of herself. It was nice, having fun and not having to force yourself to do so. She even saw James' parents beaming at them as they twirled around the dance floor.

Suddenly Mr. Potter shouted, "Thirty seconds till midnight!"

The entire house was in an uproar, trying to go out into the courtyard to see the fireworks display that was about to start. Lily was about to make her way out as well but James stopped her saying, "I know I a better way."

He led her through the crowds up the stairs onto the topmost balcony of the house which was on the fourth floor. He clutched her gloved hand and pulled her through a door onto the balcony. Lily gasped as she saw the entire night sky open to her. It was as if the entire world was right in front of her and she could reach out an touch it. She smiled as a familiar hand reached up around her shoulder and her heart began having spasms.

James stood beside her, beaming down at her for some strange reason. And despite her excitement about the New Year, she didn't even join in on the ten second countdown to midnight. When the cheers erupted from below and the fireworks went off, she looked up all around her, yet James continued to look at her. Finally, when she found her voice she asked, "James, what is it?"

"I'm sorry," he said, running a hand through his messy hair, "You just... look so incredibly beautiful and... it's so hard not to look at you and think I'm the luckiest guy in the world because I'm friends with the most beautiful girl in the world."

Lily couldn't speak. Warning bells went of in her head but she ignored them. What to say, what to say? She stood there, staring at him for a minute while twisting her hands together.

"I love you, James." She suddenly blurted.

"W--what?" He stammered, taking a step back from her.

Lily gasped at her own words, but forced herself to keep from running back inside. She bit her lip and then locked eyes with him, struggling to find her voice.

"This past year I've been friends with you has been so hard because I've had to keep a strictly platonic relationship with you," She gulped, "Even though I knew my heart craved more. And... all those times you asked me out, in fifth year, it took every fiber in my body to get me to say no. And now that you just said what you said I....I feel like queen of the world, but I'm not James."

By now she was pacing and occasionally clenching her fists, trying to keep her mind on track. Trying to finally open up. "I'll never be what you want me to be so don't put me on a pedestal."

James just looked at her as she continued on. His face was impossible to read; he was always so good at masking emotion.

"I don't honestly know what I'd do without you in my life James!" She cried exasperatedly. "I want so much to be able to push you away, but I... I can't. You're in my system now. You're like a drug that I'm addicted to and I can't speak of my addiction and end up in rehab because then everyone will know that I love James Potter..."

_Cause without you I can't sleep_

_I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave_

_You're all I've got, you're all I want_

_Yeah_

James looked at her for a few minutes as she stood before him, chest heaving as she breathed heavily, and then quietly reached forward and touched her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He stepped closer to her and in a voice meant for her only whispered, "I love you too Lils."

Before she could even figure out what the bloody hell was going on, she had wrapped her arms around James neck and their lips had touched.

It was clumsy and unwarranted, yet fireworks far brighter than the ones outside exploded behind Lily's eyes. Her first kiss. She didn't time it or worry about her own expertise; she just did it because it felt totally natural with James.

When they pulled apart it was 12:22 on James' watch. They walked down to the rooms and he picked her up and carried her to her room.

"Goodnight my sweet flower." He laughed lightly, planting a light kiss on her lips.

"You as well, Jamsie Pooh." She cooed, kissing him as well.

"Jamsie Pooh?" He asked painfully.

"Well," She replied, "Don't call me 'my sweet flower'. Deal?"

"Deal." He said kissing her again, deeply this time.

They exchanged good nights and then Lily ran into her room and screamed into her pillow.

* * *

A year and a half later, Lily Evans became Lily Potter. She liked the ring of it, though, as Sirius said, she would miss getting called Evans all the time.

It had been two days since their wedding and Lily was sitting with James on the swing in their backyard. She was lying against him on his lap and he was stroking her hair, his golden wedding ring glistening in the sun.

That was the thing she liked about James. Sometimes you didn't need words to express feelings or thoughts. There was an understanding between both of them that didn't need to be explained.

"I love you." James whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, James... so much." She said.

"We've got to go inside, Sirius'll be here any minute and you know how hungry he gets for your cooking, Lils."

"I know, I'm going."

_And without you I don't know what I'd do_

_I can never, ever live a day without you_

_Here with me, do you see_

_You're all I need_

They walked into the house hand in hand. Their new house was in Godric's Hollow and it was really nice and quiet. Lily liked being able to spend time with her husband and not be disturbed. It was all peaceful and... just perfect.

She could get used to this.

* * *

Five months later, Lily was storming around the house twisting her hands and shouting curses at everything under the sun.

She was two weeks pregnant and if she didn't see James home in five minutes she was going to explode with nerves. Sirius knew, but only because he walked in while Lily was staring at the positive pregnancy test lying on the counter. She swore him to secrecy until James knew.

But now... oh God. James was going to flip. They had both heavily agreed on at least waiting longer than two months to have a bloody kid! Lily ran a hand through her messy hair, a habit she had picked up from her husband after living with him for but a week. What was James going to say? She prayed that he wouldn't be mad, but her anxiety was also accompanied by the thought of the two little feet that would soon be kicking in her tummy.

"Lily?"

Oh Jesus Christ... he was home. Walking through the door, setting his briefcase on the table, smiling that dazzling smile, it made her instantly crack under pressure.

"I'm sorry!" She cried. "I didn't know I was going to get bloody pregnant! And then Sirius saw me with the test, I didn't know what to do, because we were not planning to have a child at this point in out marriage. So I'm so so sorry for getting pregnant, James, but I--" She was cut off mid-babble as James clasped his hands around her mouth and shushed her. When she stopped rambling, he took her face in his hands and said, "What happened?"

"I'm," She stopped, trying a way to put the news lightly, but then decided to screw it. "Ugh, James, I'm bloody two weeks pregnant."

James looked like he was about to faint. This completely blank expression over took his face as his hands dropped from Lily's face.

"Y-you're WHAT?" He whispered, hazel eyes staring off at nothing in particular.

Lily glared, this was not the reaction she was imagining. What was wrong with him?

"I'm pregnant, you prat, which means there is a baby growing inside of me and it's all your bloody fault and if you dare get mad at me, so help me God I--mph!"

She was caught off guard once again as James bounded forward and pressed his lips to hers, caressing them sweetly and wrapping his arms around her middle. She wasn't able to say no to THAT, so happily returned his kisses until he pulled away, gasping for air.

"Oh Lily," he said breathlessly, cupping her cheek and pressing a kiss to her forehead, "How could I ever leave you! I love you! And..." A positively euphoric smile spread across his flushed face. "I'm going to be a father."

It was then that Lily Potter knew she could always count on him to be there when she needed him because they loved each other. He would never get mad, he would never think there was a wrong time to become a Father. The red-head wasn't sure why she was so paranoid in the first place.

"Oh." Lily said softly before promptly bursting into tears.

James embraced her, kissing her forehead as he rocked her back and forth. It was apparent that the mood swings were already beginning. Nevertheless, he had to allow himself to laugh in her ear, a gesture that she could not help but enjoy.

"Don't worry Lils." He lifted her chin to wipe her tears away gently. "Don't you ever worry about me being mad about you bearing my child. Always and forever. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

_I will be, all that you want_

_And get myself together_

_Cause you keep me from falling apart_

_And all my life, I'll be with you forever_

_To get you through the day_

_And make everything okay_

* * *

**A/N: Now that I look back at this (this was written over a year ago) this was a truly crappy fic. But whatever. It's truly a beautiful song, even if you hate Avril Lavigne. Please review. REVIEW!!!! Oh, and if you see any typos/grammar mistakes, please let me know.**


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